


Greta Meets The Great Spirit of Ryden

by prxnxykxi



Series: Greta Does Things [11]
Category: Original Work
Genre: Author Is Sleep Deprived, Making fun of myself and all other hardcore Ryden shippers out there, Ryden, Ryden was real, Satire, Stay Strong, You've been Rick Rolled, love you, never gonna give you up
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-04-16
Updated: 2017-04-16
Packaged: 2018-10-19 13:05:29
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 525
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/10640436
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/prxnxykxi/pseuds/prxnxykxi
Summary: Fuck off, I needed this just as much as you did.





	

Another Sunday, with more children screaming as they chased each other about the streets with water guns. Greta sighed, peering out of her trash can with great boredom. Spoon Hag slowly approached Greta's trash can and tilted her blanket covered head. 

 

"Spoon spoon?" she asked. 

 

"Beeed..." Greta replied with a sigh. 

 

Spoon Hag frowned, sighing quietly at her exquisite spouse. She took a moment before grinning wide, an idea forming. 

 

"Spoon! Spoon, spoon spoon spoon." she said excitedly. 

  
Greta looked up at her wife and asked, "bed?" 

 

"Spoons." Spoon Hag exclaimed and grabbed her wife's clawed hand, tugging her out of the trash can and into the forest behind the Weildam residence. 

 

"Bed?" Greta asked in confusion. 

 

"Spoons." Spoon Hag replied with a shrug. She lead Greta to a clearing deep within the forest and began setting up a pentagram of sorts, with pictures of Brendon Urie and a few jars of cheese wiz at each point of the star. She began chanting "spoons" and dancing around the circle. 

 

Soon, a large flame erupted from the middle of the pentagram, dissolving into the form of what looked to be the sobbing silhouette of a Ryan Ross and Brendon Urie's love child. It wailed about needed answers, about how it needed to know what happened in Cape Town, April 2009 bECAUSE WE ALL NEED TO KNOW. 

 

"Spoons?" asked Spoon Hag quietly. Greta tilted her head at the spirit. 

 

"Tell the truth about Northern Downpour!" wailed the spirit. 

 

"Bed bed bed?" asked Greta. 

 

"Wha-oh...hello..." said the spirit, sighing. "I suppose I must introduce myself." 

 

With that, the spirit let out a loud roar and erupted into flames again, its voice growing deeper, booming as it spoke. "I am the Great Spirit of Ryden!" it bellowed before returning to its depressed, sobbing state. "Did you need something?"

 

"Spoon." Spoon Hag said and shook her head. Greta hid behind her spouse and nodded in agreement. "Bed." 

 

The spirit sighed. "Oh...I thought you might have some information about R-Ry-Rydeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeen!" it sobbed and wrapped its arms around the two others. The tears that fell from its eyes were like acid, but Greta didn't mind. Spoon Hag did, but didn't pull away, as not to upset the almighty spirit further. It seemed to be very,  _very, **very**_ sensitive over...everything. 

 

"Spoons?" asked Spoon Hag sympathetically. 

 

The spirit sniffled and pulled back, sitting cross legged in front of Greta and Spoon Hag. "I-I-I bet Ryan and Brendon once shared a spoon." it mumbled.

 

"Bed?" Greta questioned. 

 

The spirit sniffled again. "I bet Ryan and Brendon used the same beeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeed!" it wailed and buried itself into its hands. 

 

Greta and Spoon Hag glanced at each other before sprinting off into the day, not once glancing back. A bright flash of light came from the forest, and the spirit was gone. 

 

But don't you worry kids, for the Great Spirit of Ryden lives on, in our hearts, our minds, our souls and our spirits. Never let give it up, never let it down, never run around, and desert it. Never make it cry, never say goodbye, never tell a lie and hurt it.


End file.
